Along the Grapevine
by BloodiedCoreOfHope
Summary: Kaito is worried about Hakuba when he misses a heist, but the reason turns out to be less problematic than he originally thought, and what's this about Hakuba's birthday?


Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Hakuba frowned at the pages that lay before him. Dozens of pictures, testimonies, and all those little pieces of evidence that really pile up on you littered his work desk. Beyond a vague idea of who the culprit might be, he was no closer now, running on black coffee and a migraine, than he was hours ago when he started working on this case again.

He sighed, deeming it useless to frustrate himself. Perhaps he would be better served getting some tea to calm his nerves, and then some rest. Yes, rest sounded like a _very_ good idea. Just as he put the kettle on for that wonderful tea though, he felt the telltale vibrating of his phone in his pocket. He pulled it out hoping for a mesage from his client- only for it to be the notice of another heist in the news. Unfortunately, he absolutely couldn't attend this time- this case was just too important to leave to chance. He tapped out a message indicating his lack of wishes to attend to the Task Force, before returning to the endless slew of text in the vain hopes of succeeding in achieving _some_ kind of breakthrough.

* * *

The clink of a gem bumping into metal echoed in his lair, and Kaito leaned his head against the cool desk. The heist had been far too easy without either of the invited detectives around to challenge him, leaving Nakamori floundering in the dark when it came to his far too advanced traps designed for the

Hakuba, the _only_ one who he could easily insist attended his heists, had not turned up thus nullifying over four hours of intensive research on british customs and dyes to come up with personalised traps. It was like being stood up!

This was unacceptable! Hakuba couldn't just _miss_ heists he had said he would a on a whim, it was simply not right. It meant hours of work got wasted this time, and it could throw off his plans even worse if he tailors things to Nakamori's skill level and Hakuba doesn't skip. No. It would not do.

Just as he began pulling out various dye bombs to compare against Hakuba's hair colour to see which would be the most fitting, he stopped. What if there was an actual reason for his absence? Something a little more serious than playing truant for a simple break?

Kaito frowned. If he had been injured, or kidnapped… There was an annoyingly high possibility that he would end up having to rescue the blonde prat. He decided to do some research to settle his worries, after all, there was likely nothing to worry about in the end.

A quick google search later and he was browsing through many, many fan websites in english, and the occasional news article praising him over some murder or others deduction. It certainly explained why he was the 'Detective from Abroad' in the Koshien, he was almost an english mirror of Kudo Shinichi minus the corpse magnetism! Despite a few mentions of a rumored high profile case that was being kept under wraps, nothing unusual stuck out.

He leaned back in his chair, looking through his wall absently. Hakuba hadn't made any strange posts recently either… A notification popped up, and he nearly jabbed it to death due to interrupting his pleasant scrolling, with that infernal beeping sound. He stopped himself just in time to see it was announcing Hakuba Saguru's birthday next week, not a message from someone he disliked. He smirked; Could that be the reason? It didn't seem like Hakuba to simply be preparing for a party but… He could work with this. He could definitely work with this.

* * *

Sitting in the classroom, Kaito stared pointedly in the direction of Hakuba's head. The detective appeared tired, occasionally dipping his head and jerking it straight back up. If he had been planning a party, then why hadn't he just slept a few hours to get his bearings again? It was ridiculous. Everyone knows that you can't plan a party on no sleep! He obviously needed some assistance.

"Hakuba-kun, you look tired!" Aoko? What was Aoko doing talking to that good for nothing detective- this was going to be his interrogation! Oh, never mind… She could get the information too and with less suspicion to boot! If she asked the right questions, at any rate.

"I am- but only just a little. I spent far too long working on a case last night I'm afraid." Hakuba let out a small breath, "It's nothing to worry yourself with."

Case? What case? That high profile case mentioned in so many news reports, perhaps?

"Oh! That sounds terrible!" Drat. She just _had_ to go for the sympathy route didn't she? Time to intervene…

"Oi, oi! What case is this, Hakuba?" The detective, to his credit, managed not to flinch when Kaito poofed himself over to his desk, maintaining a steady disdainful glare instead.

"Well it's not a burglary, so you won't see any of your friends in jail." Kaito gave him a flat look. "Honestly. I don't want someone like _you_ to get involved with this, so you should leave me well alone for awhile."

Kaito arched a brow, a flat rejection before he even asked him anything? Someone's feeling defensive today. Maybe asking about the birthday would yield better results. "I was wondering if you had something going on next week, since I was thinking of treating you to dinner to get the delusions you seem to suffer from out of your head. I guess you have your schedule filled up with boring detective stuff though…" Here, he sighed dramatically, "And here I was, trying so hard to be nice to you so we could become friends, _Sa-gu-ru_ -chan." A wink, and the trap was complete.

Hakuba had slowly become ramrod stiff over the course of his speech, and had a slight blush dusting his cheeks even if his self control allowed him the mercy of not showing the internal horror clearly growing. Kaito smiled pleasantly, "Sorry Aoko, I was trying but…" He shrugged, and Aoko gaped at him.

"You mean that wasn't a joke?"

Kaito leapt backwards, clutching his heart in mock hurt, "Of course not, what do you take me for? A prankster?"

"Absolutely." Aoko, Hakuba, and the rest of the class spoke in unison.

"Now that just hurts, don't you want me to be friends with Saguru-chan?" Kaito made another mock-hurt expression.

"Of course I do! But…" Aoko looked to be rather indecisive here, glancing between the two of them like a scared rabbit, before she made a decision and drew herself up, "I'm a little worried about Hakuba-kun's ability to function if he's surrounded by you all the time, that's all."

"I profess, it would have concerning effects on my intelligence if I had to be constantly in the presence of someone who needs basic things like logic reinforced daily." Hakuba had a wry smile on his face by this point, rolling with the conversation easily.

Kaito pulled out some cards, arcing them between his hands, "I take deep pride in my ability to defy logic, thank you very much!"

"And that is why you certainly wouldn't enjoy dinner with a detective nearly as much as practicing those inane tricks of yours in some park for children- they get along on with about the same mental capacity as you so it should be easy."

"So it is. Can't tell if you're insulting me, or complementing the children with that one though."

Hakuba leaned in close to Kaito, "I'd say I'm complementing the 'Kid's ability to perform larceny with a brain so similar to yours."

"Oi! Not nice! Don't bring Kid-sama into this Sa-gu-ru-chan!"

Hakuba leaned back in his chair and smirked, "Then don't call me Saguru-chan. I haven't given you permission to respect me so..." A look crept onto his face that was an intriguing mixture of horror and worry, " _Informally_."

Had the growl this elicited from Kaito been directed at anyone else they would have fled to the hills and stayed there until society forgot them. Hakuba wasn't anyone else though.

* * *

Kaito rubbed his hands together enthusiastically, partially to check the glue to prevent fingerprints while following Hakuba in Kid-mode was still intact, partially from sheer excitement. After the debate (read: banter) with Hakuba that morning he was excited

to find out what he was doing that led to such erratic behaviour from the typically collected detective.

While he had managed to hold himself together well enough to hold a war of wits and deflect his one hundred percent subtle request to spend time with him, he was still dead on his feet. As he followed the detective along many winding streets, kept out of sight purely by managing his presence and remaining casual, occasionally detouring when the route was predictable to avoid rousing any more suspicion than absolutely necessary.

Hakuba seemed to be heading to a wealthy business district and Kaito was about to go ahead of him when he turned into an alleyway. He raised a speculative eyebrow, seeing Hakuba quickly swap out his school uniform for a more expensive looking suit. Detective business, then?

When he emerged from the alleyway he was walking with a confident gait, a plastic 'trust me, I'm your best friend' smile plastered and eyes that spoke of something akin to worry, or perhaps frustration. Hakuba stopped at an intersection, and waited for what felt like years in the same position of checking his pocket watch. Finally, he saw someone in the crowd, and put his watch away. An elderly, but clearly fit, lady strolled over to him. It wasn't his caretaker, so perhaps his client this time?

She opened her mouth, and Kaito immediately wanted to clap his hands over his ears. Hakuba appeared to share the same impulse judging by the grimace almost distorting his pleasant smile. The woman's voice was horrible, like if a banshee and Kudo's singing voice had a baby and it was her vocal cords it would make sense, horrible.

"Hakuba-kun! I've been waiting for _so_ long, I need to show you the scene before those police rats scurry to it." Definitely a client, and probably a senile one at that. Still, if they were going to a crime scene and were avoiding the police for some reason there was only one way he could follow them. He ran his hands through his hair, and got himself into 'Kudo mode'.

"Yo! Hakuba-san?"

The woman turned on her heel and set a fierce glare on Hakuba, "And just _who_ is this Hakuba-kun? We said no one else!"

Was she going to be like this the whole time? By the gods, she was annoying. "A-ah. This is Kudo Shinichi-san, he's a detective as well- often in the news you know him." As he said this, he walked over and casually attempted to pull Kaito over by use of his cheek.

"Oi! What was that for Hakuba-san?"

"Just to check you weren't a clover weed, that's all." Rubbing his cheek, Kaito scowled at him. What a crass way to put his suspicions across! He wasn't a weed, even if his name make a terrible transliteration.

"That makes no sense whatsoever."

Hakuba shrugged, "I've never met you in person before, Kid could easily impersonate you to, say, stalk me."

'Oi oi! It's not stalking, it's recon!' thought Kaito scowling internally now. "Now, now. Why would I be stalking you? Nevermind that though, what's this scene you were talking about?"

"Ah… It's over here." They walked over to a convenient alleyway hiding a body, and Kaito put his hand on his chin. Solve the trick like building a trick, and it would all be fine...

* * *

"... And that's why you killed him- because he killed your duck for dinner!"

The culprit broke down, confessing to the whole crime and being handcuffed by Hakuba for leading to the police station later. The woman had left after a short while, leaving them with three motivated relatives who they quickly deduced the killer out of.

"That was really impressive, Kudo!"

"Ah, it was nothing for me Tantei-san.", Kaito winked, dropping his voice down to the baritone he used for Kid performances. "I really should be going though."

Hakuba gave him a strange look, and you could see the gears in his head turning around. "Tantei-san? But you're a detective too…" He seemed to be trying to avoid the obvious conclusion, and Kaito almost wanted to applaud him for his unwillingness to accuse him immediately.

"I really must apologize, but there's something to be said for thievery in my career."

Hakuba stared at him with something akin to slow growing horror, "You mean you're a thief?"

"Not just any thief, my detective, a _phantom_ thief. It's not particularly difficult to remember, I trust?"

"Kid?!"

"There. I knew you weren't stupid." Kaito allowed himself a smirk, Hakuba was so easy to mess with sometimes.

"But...Your face? Why didn't you wear a mask?"

"Tantei-san, I should hope you would be able to live up to your name and do some deducing as to that."

"There must be a reason- unless you are wearing a mask?"

"Sorry to disappoint, but it looks like you'll have to do a little research into faces. This one is ridiculously common, for what it is."

Hakuba gave him a strange look, "A common face?"

"Indeed. Now, I heard along the grapevine something very interesting about you…" Kaito trailed off, his smirk widening.

"What is it." The detective had gone pale, and his tone was clipped with worry.

"It's your birthday next week, isn't it?"

The odd comment surprised Hakuba so much that it took him more than just a moment to respond, but it was already too late as the thief had disappeared like the wind.

* * *

For the rest of the week, that conversation hung over his mind. Looking at Kuroba, he could no longer simply place him in the box of 'Kid' with 100% surety. He played around in class, and often made a fool of himself. Not like the gentleman thief at all.

On August 29th, his birthday he was half expecting to receive a heist note or something bizarre from Kid. Nothing occurred. The drive to school was uneventful, and he saw nothing unusual in the corridors. When he walked into the classroom, he was surprised to see it was still dark. Normally the class leader would arrive and turn it on earlier than everyone else, were they absent?

He reached a hand out to the light switch, only to have it grabbed by long, cold fingers. He let out an involuntary yelp of surprise. The switch was pressed and then he saw most of the people he shared classes with sitting on desks. There was a cake laying in the middle, and some delicious looking spaghetti bolognaise next to it under some cellophane.

"Yo, Saguru-chan! Happy Birthday!" The whole classroom echoed the sentiment with variations in phrasing. "I didn't think you'd be too pleased with a fancy do, and I can hardly take you to dinner after you turned me down last week. I had a great place in mind too… Instead, I made you your favourite food! It's done western style, don't worry. I got the recipe from your Baaya."

Hakuba found himself feeling overwhelmed and confused. "Why?"

"Well, I know people in Europe and the west celebrate birthdays like a personal holiday. At first I was going to do a magic show for you- but Aoko said you wouldn't like it very much since you're a detective and would figure it all out. So I found your favourite food and made it for you, and a cake too because um…" Kaito laughed a little, caught up in his speech.

"Kuroba. Shush. It's fine! I was just a little surprised by it thats all." He gave Kuroba a genuine smile. "Thank you...really."

Kuroba smiled back. "You're welcome."

* * *

 **2702 Words Pre A.N**

 **Not bad for a birthday project for Hakuba I daresay. Hakuba is one of my favourites, but he's difficult to come up with a decent centric plot. Still feel like Kaito stole the spotlight but you know what It worked out well. I think.**

 **ABOUT KAITO INVITING HIM TO DINNER MULTIPLE TIMES: It's a birthday thing they do in Japan instead of parties more often than not. (gonna need to edit a little to fit that in actually… I think) Interpret that as you will everyone.**

 **I've had the idea of Hakuba needing cheering up during a tough case floating for awhile and when I realized it was his birthday I couldn't** _ **not**_ **write this out. In the future I may do something of a similar premise but more serious set in London.**

 **Thanks to LadyShadows26 for staying up with me to finish this and letting me continue even when I managed to misread 'steal your heart' as 'steal your throat'. Double thanks for her be a partial beta! Triple for pointing out how much of an utter crack fic this seems to be. Intended as nonsense fluff with plot but what the heck.**

 **This isn't entirely read through and fixed up so apologies. Time constraints for birthday uploading.**

 **Review, and roast me!**

 **BCoH signing out.**


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